Get an afterlife.

Stuck in Time,
Ascent Aspirations,
July 2010

I should have retired last year. I could be sitting on a beach in the Riviera instead of this dump.

Lily? Are you sure?

They Have White Stellate Blossoms,
Static Movement,
June 2010

But lilies are such big, bold flowers and these were so small and shy. There were so many of them. I'm sure I heard them croaking.

Call Tech Support

Speak or dial your response at any time

Answering Machine,
Clockwise Cat,
Issue 17, May 2010

Pick a number, any number and listen to recorded music.

Psych Out

Who are you going to trust?

Wintergreen Neurosis,
Doorknobs & BodyPaint,
Issue 58, May 2010


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.”- Damon Runyon

It got so hot in Texas this past summer, that all of the grass in the back yard died. It was replaced by native plants. Some of them were viney creatures that grew tall and sent out tentacles that strangled the roses. But the roses fought back. I heard them singing at night, I Will Survive. They reminded me of the bony bovines in this story.

Cows Gone Wild,
Ascent Aspirations,
May 2010

They told you to eat more chicken, but you wouldn't listen.

For the first time, my artwork with my story.

Reptilian Snakes,
Static Movement,
April 2010

Chris Bartholomew, the editor of Static Movement, visited my blog, saw the illustrations and asked me to submit one with the next story. So this time, to see the illustration you'll have to go to the ezine, because Static Movement has first rights. I would have posted it sooner, but I was supposed to be in Germany last week. Then the volcano erupted. There are strange things happening in the magma.

It's time to return to our roots.

Tuber War,
WSU Nexus,
Winter 2010

If this is made into a movie, who should play Billy Beet?