Eek! Eek! Red!

Doorknobs & Bodypaint,

August, 2012

The untented Kosmos my abode,
I pass, a willful stranger;
My mistress still the open road
And the bright eyes of danger.

--- Robert Louis Stevenson (Youth and Love)

As told to...

Gina Tells Me How She Drowned,
Doorknobs & Bodypaint,
August 2010

It took years to publish this story. I finally realized why. The title was Drowning and I was using my byline, but the story is told from a female point of view. So I changed the title and here it is.

The Island Horses

Hoof Hearted,
Ascent Aspirations,
August 2010

The idea for this story came to me when I was reading about the Chincoteague Island horses.

You can read about the legend of the Chincoteague Island horses here.

You can see pictures of the Chincoteague National Wildlife Refuge here.

Get an afterlife.

Stuck in Time,
Ascent Aspirations,
July 2010

I should have retired last year. I could be sitting on a beach in the Riviera instead of this dump.

Lily? Are you sure?

They Have White Stellate Blossoms,
Static Movement,
June 2010

But lilies are such big, bold flowers and these were so small and shy. There were so many of them. I'm sure I heard them croaking.

Call Tech Support

Speak or dial your response at any time

Answering Machine,
Clockwise Cat,
Issue 17, May 2010

Pick a number, any number and listen to recorded music.

Psych Out

Who are you going to trust?

Wintergreen Neurosis,
Doorknobs & BodyPaint,
Issue 58, May 2010


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.”- Damon Runyon

It got so hot in Texas this past summer, that all of the grass in the back yard died. It was replaced by native plants. Some of them were viney creatures that grew tall and sent out tentacles that strangled the roses. But the roses fought back. I heard them singing at night, I Will Survive. They reminded me of the bony bovines in this story.

Cows Gone Wild,
Ascent Aspirations,
May 2010

They told you to eat more chicken, but you wouldn't listen.

For the first time, my artwork with my story.

Reptilian Snakes,
Static Movement,
April 2010

Chris Bartholomew, the editor of Static Movement, visited my blog, saw the illustrations and asked me to submit one with the next story. So this time, to see the illustration you'll have to go to the ezine, because Static Movement has first rights. I would have posted it sooner, but I was supposed to be in Germany last week. Then the volcano erupted. There are strange things happening in the magma.

It's time to return to our roots.

Tuber War,
WSU Nexus,
Winter 2010

If this is made into a movie, who should play Billy Beet?

Do pigs make good pets?

Moonbeams and Cheese,
Doorknobs & BodyPaint,
Issue 57, February 2010

I don't know, but if the package includes a fabulous babe, you've got yourself a deal.

Something's fishy in the City of Hair

Fisherman's Splatter,
Clockwise Cat,
Issue 16, March 2010

My simulated city was going well until the corpses started turning up.

This is my Valentine's Day Story

Hefty Bag Gal,
Static Movement,
February 2010

Cooder and Chesty have been on-again-off-again sweathearts for a long time. Everybody wonders if they will ever run away together. This may be the day.

This much is true: We did speak to a technical support person with an Indian accent who said his name was Maverick.

Do Not Attempt to Snapshot the Locals,
Ascent Aspirations,
February 2010

People ask where I get my ideas for stories. I lead a writing workshop once a month. We begin with a twenty minute writing exercise. I hand out a page of lines from poems to serve as prompts. Back in July of 2008, the line, "Do not endeavor to snapshot the locals" from a poem by Michael Dumanis was on the list. It was the inspiration this story.

Cooder leads the lineup in 2010

Arms and the Man,
Static Movement,
January 2010

I try to finish one piece of flash fiction a week. Flash is a story in 1000 words or fewer. For each one, I prepare an illustration, because I need the practice drawing, painting and editing with Photoshop. So far, only my writing group has seen the illustrations. This post is the first time I am including the illustration with the link to the story.

First new story on the blog

The Secretary Winked,
Ascent Aspirations,
Volume 13, Number 6, November/December 2009

We first met Mister Blister in Shred It! Now he's back with a new job and a new secretary.

Web page lost when Geocities closed in October 2009

My web page was lost when Yahoo closed Geocities in October 2009, so here are the old links:

The Dancing Fool by John Ward

Stories for the New Millenium
Posted as they are published online

Click on the Title to go to the story,
the Journal name to go to the home page,
the Issue to go to the table of contents.

Poetic Sensibilities, Static Movement, October 2009

Phobophobia: Fear of Fears, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 55, August 2009

Forbidden Fruit, WSU Nexus, August 2009

Corn Cob Cabin, Static Movement, August 2009

Pausing to Shake the Spit from Their Horns, Clockwise Cat, Issue Fourteen, July 2009

When In Doubt Throw Up, Clockwise Cat, Issue Fourteen, June 2009

Barbed-wire Beach, Static Movement, July 2009

The Recent Unpheasantries, Static Movement, June 2009

David, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 54, May 2009

Shred It!, Ascent Aspirations, Volume 13, Number 2, May 2009

Subterranean Fears, Static Movement, May 2009

The Way She Held Her Head, Clockwise Cat, Issue Thirteen, March 2009

Raccoon, Static Movement, April 2009

Survival, Flash Fire 500, March 2009

No Anger Left, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 53, February 2009

Tilt-A-Whirl, Static Movement, February 2009

Screaming Mime, Ascent Aspirations, Volume 13, Number 1, February 2009

Her Shoes, Clockwise Cat, Issue Twelve, December 2008

Two-seater, Apollo's Lyre, November 2008

Thus Spoke Sarah Duester, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 52, November 2008

Just Pretend I'm Not Here, Ascent Aspirations, Volume 12, Number 4, November 2008

Pons Asinorum, Clockwise Cat, Issue Eleven, October 2008

Fishing, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 51, August 2008

Sand Sculpture, Apollo's Lyre, August 2008

Silver Screen Cafe, Clockwise Cat, Issue Ten, August 2008

Snake Dreams, Ascent Aspirations, Volume 12, Number 3, August 2008

Cat Burglar, Apollo's Lyre, May 2008

Two Stories (Home Cooking), Clockwise Cat, Issue Nine, May 2008

Mudlucious, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 50, May 2008

Why I Don't Paint Anymore, Holy Cuspidor, Issue III, March 2008

The Gospel According to Felicia, Apollo's Lyre, February 2008

Her New Story, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 49, February 2008

Sin and Punishment, Clockwise Cat, Issue Seven, February 2008

Time Out of Mind, Apollo's Lyre, Winter 2007

Sweaters, Clockwise Cat, Issue Six, December 2007

Antepenultimate Halloween, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 48, November 2007

Science Saturday, Clockwise Cat, Issue Five, November 2007

Three Poems, Clockwise Cat, Issue Four, October 2007

Hair, Idlewheel, October 2007

Serious Artist, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 47, August 2007

Stab, Apollo's Lyre, Summer 2007

Okra Coach, Clockwise Cat, Issue Three, August 2007

Friends, Clockwise Cat, Issue Two, July 2007

Reflections in a Coffee Urn, Clockwise Cat, Issue One, June 2007

Trumpet Flower Bites Me, Apollo's Lyre, Spring 2007

War Wounds, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 46, May 2007

Genealogy Society, Long Story Short, March 2007

The Eyes Have It, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 45, February 2007

Vegetarian Rage, Antithesis Common, Issue VI - Winter 2006/07

Saints and Sinners, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 44, November 2006

Wedding Bust, Apollo's Lyre, Fall 2006

Hang Them High, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 43, August 2006

Banshee, Apollo's Lyre, Summer 2006

Johnny D and the Demon Key, Cautionary Tale, Archives, July 2006

Renaissance Graduate Student, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 42, May 2006

Cosmos, R-KV-R-Y, Vol. II, No. 3, Spring 2006

Fowl Play, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 41, February 2006

The Best Laid Plans, Antithesis Common, Issue II, Winter 2005

Vamp at the Coffeehouse, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 40, November 2005

Color Me Safe, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 39, August 2005

Fireworks, Toasted Cheese, Volume 5, Issue 2, June 2005

Whoopeeman, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 38, May 2005

Frogs, Toasted Cheese, Volume 5, Issue 1, March 2005

Lady In Red, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 37, February 2005

Watcha Got There,Babe?, Toasted Cheese, Volume 4, Issue 4, December 2004

Thor Larsen, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 36, November 2004

Night Things, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 35, August 2004

Gizzard Stones, Green Tricycle, Issue 16, June 2004

Ball-cock Assembly, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 34, May 2004

Strike Zone, Toasted Cheese, Volume 4, Issue 1, March 2004

Zuzu Is Lusting, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 33, February 2004

White Castle, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 32, November 2003

Marmots, Green Tricycle, Issue 13, September 2003

Workshop, The Rose & Thorn, Issue 2, Volume 6, Summer/Fall 2003

Locust, Green Tricycle, Issue 12, June 2003

A Thief Like Me, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 30, May 2003

We Were Playing Guns, Green Tricycle, Issue 11, March 2003

No Antelope on the Fourteenth Floor, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 29, February 2003

She Said, Doorknobs & Bodypaint, Issue 27, August 2002